Kopdibstik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, selfish fish.

Kopdibstik created oxygen nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kopdibstik, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kopdibstik, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Kopdibstik's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Kopdibstik's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Kopdibstik must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Kopdibstik in the centre of the settlement.