Badligton is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, happy scorpion.

Badligton created the solar system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Badligton, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Badligton, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Badligton's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Badligton's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

2. Badligton must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Feed all hungry tortoises.

5. Run away from blue squirrels, for they are unholy.