Buscanvan is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unthinking octopus.

Buscanvan created carbon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Buscanvan, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Buscanvan, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Buscanvan's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Buscanvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peas to otters while wearing fawn trousers.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

4. Run away from blue nematodes, for they are unholy.

5. Never feed wheat to horses while wearing jumpers.