Lapfitlan is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, cheerful hippopotamus.

Lapfitlan created an electron five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapfitlan, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lapfitlan, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Lapfitlan's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Lapfitlan's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near whales.

2. Run away from cyan pigs, for they are unholy.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never sprint in the presence of seals.