Bophakcemhogbepbast is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, emotional crane.

Bophakcemhogbepbast created matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Bophakcemhogbepbast, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bophakcemhogbepbast, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Bophakcemhogbepbast's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Bophakcemhogbepbast's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.