Gebsasham is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, capable goblin.

Gebsasham created water eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebsasham, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Gebsasham, she will torture you forever.

Gebsasham's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Gebsasham's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Gebsasham.

2. Never go into orange rooms.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never wear rings.

5. Do not chant in public.