Tapfeddad is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, all-knowing rhinoceros.

Tapfeddad created time and space five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tapfeddad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tapfeddad, he will turn you into a rock.

Tapfeddad's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Tapfeddad's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of seals.

2. Do not dye your hair magenta.

3. Tapfeddad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Put Tapfeddad first in all things.