Somrillbed is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unsympathetic jaguar.

Somrillbed created a quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Somrillbed, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Somrillbed, she will strike you with lightening.

Somrillbed's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Somrillbed's Holy Commandments

1. Somrillbed loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Do not take Somrillbed's name in vain.