Sterpodzen is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, vain dugong.

Sterpodzen created Asia seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sterpodzen, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sterpodzen, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Sterpodzen's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Sterpodzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sterpodzen.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Do not stand on grass.