Dodfon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, almighty finch.

Dodfon created everything that exists five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dodfon, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dodfon, he will not care.

Dodfon's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Dodfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near tapirs while wearing red boots and balancing nine silver spheres on your head.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. You must love Dodfon.

5. Do not wear gray clothing.