Jadveentonk is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, generous naga.

Jadveentonk created energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jadveentonk, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jadveentonk, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Jadveentonk's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Jadveentonk's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. You must love Jadveentonk.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Do not kill sheep.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.