Mon is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, proud finch.

Mon created the planet Earth five million years ago.

If you believe in Mon, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Mon, it will remove you from existence.

Mon's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Mon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair violet.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never talk about gravity near monkeys while wearing cyan stockings.

4. Always wear pink.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.