Vedbonkpidnart is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, emotional scorpion.

Vedbonkpidnart created the solar system four million years ago.

If you believe in Vedbonkpidnart, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Vedbonkpidnart, he will be very sad.

Vedbonkpidnart's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Vedbonkpidnart's Holy Commandments

1. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

3. Never think ill of sick sheep.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Fast once a month.