Yarlcabkad is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, annoying dog.

Yarlcabkad created a down quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarlcabkad, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yarlcabkad, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Yarlcabkad's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Yarlcabkad's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. You must pray to Yarlcabkad nine times a day.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Put Yarlcabkad first in all things.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.