Fotminbancenflaplatfabcin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, competent shark.

Fotminbancenflaplatfabcin created the Sombrero Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fotminbancenflaplatfabcin, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fotminbancenflaplatfabcin, he will make you grow a tail.

Fotminbancenflaplatfabcin's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Fotminbancenflaplatfabcin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill badgers.

2. Fotminbancenflaplatfabcin must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always help sick hamsters.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near ants while wearing fawn hats and balancing six copper spheres on your arms.