Bimdanquaf Nellbeglen Arplikbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, moody crow.

Bimdanquaf Nellbeglen Arplikbonk created humanity seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimdanquaf Nellbeglen Arplikbonk, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bimdanquaf Nellbeglen Arplikbonk, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bimdanquaf Nellbeglen Arplikbonk's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Bimdanquaf Nellbeglen Arplikbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Bimdanquaf Nellbeglen Arplikbonk's name in vain.

2. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Bimdanquaf Nellbeglen Arplikbonk in the centre of the settlement.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bimdanquaf Nellbeglen Arplikbonk.

4. Retreat if five sharks approach from the south.

5. Never hurt whales.