Pogjopsag is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, generous giraffe.

Pogjopsag created matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Pogjopsag, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pogjopsag, she will boil you in a big pot.

Pogjopsag's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Pogjopsag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mites in need.

2. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Retreat if five eagles approach from the north.

4. Never think about spacetime near sharks while wearing white corsets and balancing four gold spheres on your head.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near birds while wearing purple hats and balancing seven zinc spheres on your face.