Bopmidjen is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, annoying aardvark.

Bopmidjen created an electron two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bopmidjen, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bopmidjen, she will send minions to preach to you.

Bopmidjen's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Bopmidjen's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never feed garlic to cats while wearing black ear rings.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Respect your elders.