Xucvanlin is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, happy sheep.

Xucvanlin created Africa five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucvanlin, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Xucvanlin, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Xucvanlin's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Xucvanlin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Xucvanlin in the centre of the settlement.

2. Hide if nine turtles approach from the west.

3. Retreat if four cats approach from the north.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Never write about dwarf planets.