Bessquartbet is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, wise hydra.

Bessquartbet created the Sombrero Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bessquartbet, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bessquartbet, it will turn you into a snail.

Bessquartbet's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bessquartbet's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Bessquartbet's priests.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force near porpoises while wearing pink shorts and balancing seven titanium spheres on your hands.

3. Do not speak about rice.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Erect nine tin sculptures of Bessquartbet on top of important buildings.