Quarttagwap is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unsympathetic hydra.

Quarttagwap created the planet Mars seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quarttagwap, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Quarttagwap, it will turn you into a sheep.

Quarttagwap's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Quarttagwap's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four tortoises approach from the east.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always help dolphins.

5. Never talk about mice.