Faslin is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, charitable snail.

Faslin created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Faslin, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Faslin, she will throw large rocks at you.

Faslin's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Faslin's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Faslin.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Put Faslin first in all things.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.