Kinlipnak is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, generous hydra.

Kinlipnak created life five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinlipnak, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kinlipnak, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Kinlipnak's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Kinlipnak's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bananas.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Frogs are not to be trusted.

4. Do not eat pineapples.

5. Always help badgers.