Hasfotkik is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, annoying duck.

Hasfotkik created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasfotkik, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hasfotkik, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Hasfotkik's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Hasfotkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always look after injured horses.

3. Do not take Hasfotkik's name in vain.

4. Always help aardvarks in need.

5. Learn four new languages a year.