Sissakmipomt is a god.

It takes the form of a large, loving beaver.

Sissakmipomt created humankind two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sissakmipomt, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sissakmipomt, it will turn you into a worm.

Sissakmipomt's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Sissakmipomt's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of oranges to otters while wearing pink shirts.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never write about eukaryotes.

5. Sissakmipomt loves manatees, so they must be honoured.