Pidkimfum is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, confident chinchilla.

Pidkimfum created a quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pidkimfum, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pidkimfum, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Pidkimfum's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Pidkimfum's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry squirrels.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never think about spacetime.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pidkimfum.

5. Never pour water over plants.