Hogarfcun is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, quiet pig.

Hogarfcun created energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hogarfcun, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hogarfcun, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Hogarfcun's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Hogarfcun's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Hogarfcun on top of all buildings.

2. Do not keep seven bats in a large pit.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Hogarfcun.

5. Do not cook food in pots.