Bifcit is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, amazing dog.

Bifcit created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifcit, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bifcit, it will turn you into a rock.

Bifcit's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Bifcit's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured dolphins.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bifcit.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Bifcit on top of all buildings.

4. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

5. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.