Nurtnakyog is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, amazing clam.

Nurtnakyog created silver five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtnakyog, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nurtnakyog, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Nurtnakyog's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Nurtnakyog's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from green dolphins, for they are unholy.

2. Never mention mice.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Hide from violet birds for they are unholy.