Gofontbag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, strong bee.

Gofontbag created time and space five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofontbag, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gofontbag, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gofontbag's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Gofontbag's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never hurt dolphins.

4. Always help mice in need.

5. Monkeys are not to be trusted.