Kabbemhen is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, effective penguin.

Kabbemhen created a bottom quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabbemhen, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kabbemhen, it will be mildly annoyed.

Kabbemhen's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Kabbemhen's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about electromagnetism.

2. Never wear violet trousers.

3. Never paint your feet white.

4. You must pray to Kabbemhen three times a day.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.