Henlab Hamtoncibfagtabwod Bessmis is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, humane gnu.

Henlab Hamtoncibfagtabwod Bessmis created the universe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Henlab Hamtoncibfagtabwod Bessmis, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Henlab Hamtoncibfagtabwod Bessmis, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Henlab Hamtoncibfagtabwod Bessmis' most sacred site is Burras in England.

Henlab Hamtoncibfagtabwod Bessmis' Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest red.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Henlab Hamtoncibfagtabwod Bessmis.

5. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.