Goflatpon is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, caring tapir.

Goflatpon created the Sombrero Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Goflatpon, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Goflatpon, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Goflatpon's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Goflatpon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never think ill of sick manatees.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never pour water over plants.