Lagkinmot is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, merciless giraffe.

Lagkinmot created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagkinmot, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lagkinmot, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Lagkinmot's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Lagkinmot's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured geese.

2. Always obey Lagkinmot's priests.

3. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.