Pinvigfub is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, tiresome duck.

Pinvigfub created oxygen nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pinvigfub, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pinvigfub, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Pinvigfub's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Pinvigfub's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Pinvigfub.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near bats while wearing mauve ear rings and balancing three copper spheres on your head.

3. Always obey Pinvigfub's priests.

4. Never talk about dark matter near gulls while wearing indigo jumpers.

5. Never eat green fruit.