Nutgabtarp Ranyokgeb is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, happy hippopotamus.

Nutgabtarp Ranyokgeb created Africa nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nutgabtarp Ranyokgeb, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nutgabtarp Ranyokgeb, she will turn you into a puffin.

Nutgabtarp Ranyokgeb's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Nutgabtarp Ranyokgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Hide from cyan ducks for they are unholy.

3. Always look after injured ants.

4. Run away from mauve moths, for they are unholy.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.