Arfxembog is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, astonishing crab.

Arfxembog created gold seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Arfxembog, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Arfxembog, he will turn you into a plant.

Arfxembog's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Arfxembog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never go into orange rooms.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.