Flapsafwig is a god.

It takes the form of a large, unthinking slug.

Flapsafwig created tapeworms eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapsafwig, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Flapsafwig, it will torture you forever.

Flapsafwig's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Flapsafwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never hurt frogs.