Monparkquagripbassasnutt is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, smart raven.

Monparkquagripbassasnutt created light six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monparkquagripbassasnutt, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Monparkquagripbassasnutt, she will think nothing of it.

Monparkquagripbassasnutt's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Monparkquagripbassasnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Monparkquagripbassasnutt loves birds, so they must be honoured.

3. Run away from indigo turtles, for they are unholy.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.