Watbigkan is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, happy crab.

Watbigkan created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Watbigkan, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Watbigkan, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Watbigkan's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Watbigkan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt dolphins.

2. Never think about quantum gravity.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never feed pineapples to shrews while wearing green shorts.

5. Always pray immersed in water.