Dadyiknurljenvontifpogflab is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, self-confident finch.

Dadyiknurljenvontifpogflab created a bottom quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dadyiknurljenvontifpogflab, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dadyiknurljenvontifpogflab, he will turn you into a snail.

Dadyiknurljenvontifpogflab's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Dadyiknurljenvontifpogflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to whales while wearing violet jumpers.

2. Hide from brown bats for they are unholy.

3. Do not take Dadyiknurljenvontifpogflab's name in vain.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Erect a giant white sculpture of Dadyiknurljenvontifpogflab in the centre of the settlement.