Quafgudpib Kadmapzen is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, quiet sheep.

Quafgudpib Kadmapzen created the planet Mars three billion years ago.

If you believe in Quafgudpib Kadmapzen, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quafgudpib Kadmapzen, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Quafgudpib Kadmapzen's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Quafgudpib Kadmapzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nucleic acids.

2. Run away from cyan swans, for they are unholy.

3. Always wear purple.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never jump in holy places.