Flapstafvon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, flying sheep.

Flapstafvon created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapstafvon, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Flapstafvon, she will manifest in front of you.

Flapstafvon's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Flapstafvon's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. You must love Flapstafvon.

3. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not eat limes.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.