Quagquatdod Rig is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, compassionate dingo.

Quagquatdod Rig created the planet Mars five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagquatdod Rig, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quagquatdod Rig, it will turn you into a snail.

Quagquatdod Rig's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Quagquatdod Rig's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Worship no other gods but Quagquatdod Rig.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Quagquatdod Rig.

5. Never eat corn.