Dutpoggab is a god.

It takes the form of a large, omniscient seal.

Dutpoggab created the cosmos seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dutpoggab, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dutpoggab, it will destroy your favourite star.

Dutpoggab's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Dutpoggab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.