Yarlbungeb is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, stupid beaver.

Yarlbungeb created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlbungeb, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yarlbungeb, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Yarlbungeb's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Yarlbungeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never hurt mice.