Bifpangwik is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, egotistical snake.

Bifpangwik created parasitic wasps four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifpangwik, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bifpangwik, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bifpangwik's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Bifpangwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ultrasonics near eagles while wearing gray hats and balancing nine carbon spheres on your hands.

2. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Never mention seals.

4. Always help sick porpoises.

5. Run away from mauve goats, for they are unholy.