Govdossnan is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, witless salamander.

Govdossnan created the Sol system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govdossnan, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Govdossnan, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Govdossnan's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Govdossnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about stars.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Govdossnan on top of all buildings.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Govdossnan.

4. Never mention ducks.

5. Never wear black trousers.