Loopnarget is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, dishonest dingo.

Loopnarget created a top quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Loopnarget, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Loopnarget, she will jump up and down on your head.

Loopnarget's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Loopnarget's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near monkeys while wearing red shirts and balancing six tin spheres on your face.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Always obey Loopnarget's priests.

5. Do not chop down trees.