Xenkambin is a god.

It takes the form of a small, witty dryad.

Xenkambin created Europe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xenkambin, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Xenkambin, it will turn you into a mouse.

Xenkambin's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Xenkambin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never paint your legs brown.

3. Xenkambin loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

4. Never hurt geese.

5. Feed all hungry dolphins.